Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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