Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
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