Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
