You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize
