before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
We need a shit load of segways right now
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
