Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
