My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
