I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
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