All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
