your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Randomize
