So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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