i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
