I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
i drank out of a bidet.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
