just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
