My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just high enough for therapy.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
