i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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