can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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