soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
