paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
