My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
