Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
