I want to make a zoo with you.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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