Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
