Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
