Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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