wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
