do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Tell her she can't have a vagina
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
