Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I fill condoms, not promises.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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