is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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