This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
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