If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Randomize
