Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
