only if we run a train.
done.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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