when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
