THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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