I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
