I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
