i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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