the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
