Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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