What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
