so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
