i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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