i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
