let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
