So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
