she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You're a waste of cheezeits
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize