planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
