idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
