Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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