Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
