hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
