I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize