i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
