Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
