Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
